Tour: Milking the Cat

By Theophanes Avery

December 9 – 12



If you would be interested in joining this tour as a reviewer, please contact us using the SIGN-UP FORM at the end of the page.


  • Purchase link:
  • Goodreads link:
  • Genre:  Animal stories
  • Print length: 192 pages (62K words)
  • Age range: This is an adult book, but would be suitable for mature animal loving teens age 16+
  • Trigger warnings: autopsy of a parrot; occasional colorful language, (not to mention some fowl language), brief mentions of puppy mills, dive pet stores, and less than stellar vets. Dark humor pertaining to common agricultural practices non-farmers may find shocking or offensive
  • Formats available for the Tour: all standard electronic formats (sorry, no paperbacks)
  • Amazon Rating: 5*

About Milking the cat

Milking the Cat is a tongue-in-cheek collection of animal related tales as recounted by a pet owner, former breeder, and farmer in New England. Each story revolves around the funny and absurd winding the reader into increasingly ridiculous situations. From naked cats, to psychopathic cockatoos, to love sick horses, and misplaced bats, you’ll find it all here.

Praise for Milking the cat

Rating: 5 out of 5.

It ought to be a best seller. It’s a book for all of us who have ever owned pets or bred them – the ones that you love and lose, the ones that turn out to be a mistake and stick around as a perpetual reproach, the funny ones, the maddening ones, the adored ones.
It’s a collection of personal stories, told with laugh-out-loud honesty and wince-making humour. I wanted to go and drink tea with this woman and tell her my own pet stories, which flooded back to me as I read hers.
The range of animals visited in this book is wide – cockatiels, cats, rabbits, rats and more. I learnt a lot from it, though I’ve kept such animals all my life. If you’re stuck for a birthday present or a christmas present for anyone who has ever had one pet too many in their lives, just go buy this book. Problem solved. A present they will really enjoy. Amazon review

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Even the title is hilarious. I learned a lot while reading this, including the milking the cat reference. I won’t be getting that type of cat soon…. Especially loved the cat, cockatiel, and chicken parts, and couldn’t bring myself to read the rats. Everything is informative, full of irony, and extremely funny. The boob attack by the cockatiel was my absolute favorite. This book should be required reading by anyone getting a pet, and by the kids who want them. Buy it! Amazon review

About the Author

Theophanes Avery is a brazen millennial author who defies all odds to give legitimacy to all the voices in their head. They do it all – they blog, write novels, create master polymer clay sculptures, take vibrant nature photography, and draw a weekly comic – at Glen the Caterpillar dot com.

You’ll find no fancy education under their name, no illustrious awards, no fawning acclaim, just the raw determination and quirky humor of someone who has lived a hardscrabble life in the woods of New England.

They published their first book Honoring Echo in 2018. It was about their strange life taking an epic road trip across all the Lower 48 States before settling a farm, all while juggling chronic health issues and toxic relationships. But that was only the beginning. Milking the Cat came next and told the wild and whimsical stories of the animals in Avery’s life and now they are currently working on several works of fiction and continue to update their numerous blogs when time allows.

They are currently owned by two geriatric bunnies and love hiking and nature photography.

In the meanwhile they continue to wander, explore, learn, laugh, love, and defy gender norms in celebration of self.

Reviewers – please complete the form below if you would like to take part in this Tour, DECEMBER 9 – 12



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